Ron asked me to speak about my experience as a TSAD. Here is my "talk"...
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I had no idea what I was getting into…
Ron stopped me outside my office at school and asked in passing “Would you be interested in attending GA in June? As Fuller’s representative?” Now, I have to be honest with y’all – I had no idea what that meant. I didn’t know TSADs existed (I’d only ever heard of YADs), I didn’t expect that Fuller would be invited to send someone, and I certainly never expected that I would be the ‘someone’ Fuller would select.
I stumbled over my answer to Ron – surprise and confusion causing my normal verbosity to go flying out the window! I told him I’d think and pray about it. And then he and I didn’t’ speak about it again for quite awhile… until it was almost too late! My application was quite late by the time we managed to get it in, but it was eventually accepted. My confirmation didn’t come through until May 5! Just over a month to read everything… including the PUP report!
I had no idea what I was getting into…
As I started to learn what my role and responsibilities were, I felt the weight of the responsibility, as well as the honor. Reading my committee materials during the last 3 weeks of the quarter, I found that I had no idea what these documents were trying to say! I could sense that there was a history here, and that most overtures were in response to something – but, again, I didn’t know what the ‘something’ was. And so I prayed and read and wrote and prayed some more… trusting that this was God’s calling on me for this time and that God would provide me with the knowledge and strength for this.
I had no idea what I was getting into…
Upon arrival in Birmingham, it began to occur to me that this was going to be a long week! The schedule provided to TSADs was long and full. The orientation dinner was full of more information and instruction than I was ready for. Having never been to a GA, I didn’t really know what to expect, or what would be helpful to know or ask. I sat and listened intently, hoping that I would remember the important things!
Once in committee, I was overjoyed. We had a diverse and powerful group. There were people I knew of: Katherine Doob Sakenfield, Mark Brewer, my fellow TSAD Aaron. The vice-moderator had called me in the weeks prior to arriving here, and I felt that I was meeting a friend. There were other interesting points of connection to draw us together as a single team – ready to do the work committed to us.
What an honor and privilege it was to have not just a voice but a vote on committee. I enjoyed the process of wrestling through these overtures together, thoughtfully seeking God’s will at each step of the way. It became a safe place for me to ask my silly parliamentary questions – without fear of laughter! I had no idea how a substitution motion worked – and the committee was great about explaining it! Heck, I even got the chance to make an amendment that passed – and I have the yellow piece of paper to prove it!
I had no idea what I was getting into…
Starting with the election of our new Moderator and moving right through to the discussion of the PUP report and the Church Orders overtures last night, plenary has been a varied experience for me. I don’t want to focus on the negative aspects, except to acknowledge that my experience has not been all sunshine and roses. I am often scolded for being a bit of a Polyanna – and so, want to make it clear that I certainly have some… constructive criticism – for the OGA regarding the role and treatment of TSADs, MADs, and EADs. We, as a whole, have felt a bit like the marginalized in this assembly. But none with whom I have spoken have had a totally negative experience. None would walk away saying that they wish they had not been here.
I am so glad that I have had this opportunity. To witness the decorum and love that was exhibited on the floor these past few days. To experience the passion and frustration in person. To feel, really feel, the presence of the Holy Spirit enter into this place as we earnestly sought God’s guidance and will. I will never forget the moment when, with tears silently rolling down my cheeks, the assembly sang together:
Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me
Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me
Spirit of the Living God fall afresh on me
I had no idea what I was getting into…
I have no idea what is next either. I will go back to school and try to help people talk about GA and PUP and divestment and hymnals… with intelligence. I pray that God can use me as a voice of moderation and middle ground as the extremes seek to understand each other. I pray that I can become the pastor that God calls me to be, serving the Church at whatever level and in whatever capacity I can.
I am grateful that God brought me here to learn and grow… and I look forward to being more involved in the future. I had no idea what I was getting into… but… no, make that and, I am excited that I accepted the offer. God had every idea of what He was getting me into… :)
